


Flame

by WhenIFindLoveAgain



Series: Cymry Paganaith [9]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Falling In Love, Fire, Fire Magic, Love, M/M, Mentioned SEVENTEEN Ensemble, Neo-Paganism, Paganism, Seasonal Spirits and Guardians, Spirits, Spiritual, Unrequited Love, Winter, Winter Solstice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:14:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23558932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIFindLoveAgain/pseuds/WhenIFindLoveAgain
Summary: Jihoon is born of the fire, and he watches and loves in agony in a hearth as he watched a man called Soonyoung with lung cancer try to get on with his life during a terminal illness
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Series: Cymry Paganaith [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1691641
Kudos: 11





	Flame

**Author's Note:**

> Some of you might find this quite sad; but I want you to surrender to it, and see the beautiful in the rawness. Come to it as you may. I love you all very much

Jihoon peered out through the flaw of the fireplace at the sleeping figure in the reclining arm-chair, a blanket draped over the top of him, a oxygen tank on the ground beside the armchair. Soonyoung was asleep on his side, one arm draped, his fingertips just above the floor. As Jihoon's heart panged, the flames that were himself crackled. He wished the door of the fireplace could be opened so he could reach out and see Soonyoung closer, better. Sometimes, Soonyoung cane and sat at the hearth of the fireplace, admiring the flames as they burnt, the heat of them. Jihoon felt himself burn whenever Soonyoung did that. Jihoon wondered if Soonyoung ever wondered why the fire grew hotter and greater when he came near it.

As Soonyoung lay, sick and tired, asleep in the armchair, the desire horrifically strong to keep Soonyoung warm. 

It was the one thing that he could do, but he had to be careful not to do it too strongly. One time he had; full of revulsion for how mortal humans were, and how they could do easily die. How one human being who didn't deserve it could lose everything - could lose their life - while another squandered humanism and it's luxuries.

Revolting, disgusting, shameful. It wad not fair. Jihoon had burned so brightly that sweat vegan to bead at the top of Soonyoung's lip and temple and the small of his back. It dripped down as his body developed into a state of fever, made sick from being over-heated as he Sid his University studies online in the sitting room. That had been a day long ago; he slept a different kind of sleep. He swallowed something with a glass of water beforehand. Jihoon could easily blame whatever the substance had been. But it was all his fault. 

Jihoon had to force himself not to explode. To keep his flame controlled. He wanted to live for Soonyoung, and be with him. Not be put out and replaced by that ghastly robotic thing on the wall above the bookcase. The central heating. Jihoon felt spite and rage make him flush inside. He wanted to roar. He wanted Soonyoung to wake up and see him so Soonyoung could be aware of him; how hard he was trying. How pointlessly he was trying. Jihoon knew in a way so heartbreaking that one day his flame would be cremating Soonyoung's lifeless body, the cancer in his lungs finally having got the better of him. Jihoon didn't want to be anywhere else. All else alive were less than that human being, trying to live with a body that wanted to die, there, asleep in that armchair. He could not....

Jihoon screamed. He hated it all. He hated everything.

He wanted Soonyoung to live. He wanted Soonyoung to be around.

Jihoon nearly sobbed. The light his fire gave made the glass that held him back in the hearth look like the surface of the sun.

Jihoon did sob. 

Later, calmed down, he looked through the glass and realized he had accidentally burned it black. He'd have to wait for it to be cleaned. He saw that Soonyoung was now not asleep anymore, bit he was typing away on a thing called the "phone". Jihoon wasn't stupid; he knew what all of that was. Bit it was hard. Soonyoung nearly never spoke aloud to himself. Jihoon couldn't learn.

After twenty minutes of listening, tears rolled down Jihoon's face. He wanted to vanish away and leave Soonyoung without his flame to keep him warm. As Soonyoung began to talk into the phone, Jihoon's heart broke bit by bit. He had someone. For years, Jihoon had known simply Soonyoung. But now Soonyoung had someone else to claim him. Jihoon pounded his fists against the glass, howling in rage and heartbreak.

Soonyoung didn't notice.

In the end, dejected, Jihoon lay sown and continued to warm Soonyoung's body. It wad the only thing he could do for the human until one day the human died, and then, for a short time only, Jihoon could embrace him and claim him as his own even though he would be destroying Soonyoung. Reducing his human lifelessness to ash.

He wished Soonyoung could fly like ash from the fire in the field; those beautiful things humans invented called bonfires.

But Soonyoung couldn't. And, honestly, neither could Jihoon.

**Author's Note:**

> Call me Tegwin


End file.
